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Showing posts from May 29, 2011

Miracles Do Happen!

Yes boys and girls miracles do happen, as Muffy the death's door guinea pig is running around her little hutch like Zola Budd this morning. Maybe she was just having an off day or something, but the empty shoebox has been put back into the cupboard, at least for now. They didn't throw it away obviously as you never know when it might be needed again, pets pop their clogs with alarming regularity around here. Pooh count: just the one, but the morning log is a particularly satisfying one I find. A bit like you lot and your first cup of tea of the day I suspect.

Pooh Check

Three Brits have gone down with that E.coli jobbie according to the Beeb. All of them had visited Germany recently, so it serves them right if you ask me. The health authorities here are saying that "people travelling to Germany should not eat raw cucumber, lettuce or tomatoes and that they should seek medical advice if they have bloody diarrhoea." I had that once. And very tasty it was too. And that boys and girls is what chicken jalfrezi is, except without the chicken.

Guinea Pig "Planking"

The Grim Reaper looks like he's coming round our way again. Muffy the guinea pig apparently has the look of something that isn't likely to be with us in the morning. How many is that we've lost of late, I'm losing count. Stanley the cross-dressing transsexual guinea pig seems to have kick-started some sort of trend. What is it they say, in the midst of life we are buried in an Adidas shoe box at the bottom of the garden. My only concern is will the two-leggeds be able to dig deep enough to shoehorn another one in after the lack of rain? If not we may need to resort to a funeral pyre. But if we do that we'll have all the cats in the neighbourhood round, and a few stray Patagonians too I shouldn't wonder. It's almost put me off my tea. Almost, but it was sausages. Looks like it's just me, Speedy and Gizmo left now. They're only little them two, we wont need a shoebox for them, but they're probably too big to flush down the toilet. I'll email th

Sepp Blatter #2

He was on the telly again last night, did you see him? They have elections where there's only one candidate in places like Zimbabwe don't they? I see that (some of) us Brits made a plucky little "erm, we're not quite sure that this is right old bean" objection, which not surprisingly fell on stony ground. Reminds me of an old war film. John Mills is England, all grubby-faced and wandering around the exercise yard dropping bits of earth nonchalantly down his trouser leg. That Scottish actor with the funny eye and a mad look on his face is there backing England up muttering to himself "aye wee laddie I'm right behind you." Wales and Ireland, they're neither use nor ornament. They want to escape but they'd also like to see England and Scotland get caught and shot, so they stay in the hut pretending to be forging papers and making uniforms out of old blankets. The rest of the camp are lined up outside the commandant's office where he hands ou

Sepp Blatter

I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could throw him. There he was on the news last night speaking pretty much perfect English, then fumbling to put his headphones on when being asked a question, in English, and pretending that he couldn't understand what was being said. He's as bent as an Arabs dagger that lad, you mark my words. "Crisis? What is a crisis? Football is not in a crisis...we are only in some difficulties and these difficulties will be solved." As soon as the brown envelope arrive eh Sepp? He's right about one thing though, there is no need for an enquiry into bungs for votes "allegations" as we all know that they are true. Qatar my arse, what are they having the World Cup there for, It's hardly a bastion of international football is it. There can only be one reason and that is that they paid more than everybody else.