Here we are again then. This is starting to happen with far too much regularity if you ask me. What's the big deal this week then that me and Knocker are confined to the kennels? Me Mum and Dad are getting married that's what. I thought they were fucking married already. That means that Knocker and me are bastards. The shame of it all. I'm not surprised that the Jehovah's Witness lady has stopped coming round. We used to look forward to barking at her and frightening her away as well. Living in fucking sin all these years, the dirty bastards.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.