Lost her pocket, Kitty "the Gyppo" Fisher found it. Unfortunately she only found it after Lucy's iPhone and dinner money had gone missing. She was unlucky like that Kitty. Always finding things a bit too late. Like when she found the teachers purse stuffed down the back of the radiator AFTER the Christmas Charity money got half-inched. "It's a Romany curse" said Kitty's Mum. Kitty's Dad didn't say anything. He's inside doing a 12-stretch for kicking a man with a speech impediment unconscious in the queue at Greggs when he asked for "two Pikey pies". An unlucky family really. Still, they've got a nice caravan.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.