I heard that Prime Minister, Boris Johnson is on the lookout for a rescue dog. Well I'm delighted to announce that well known bottom sniffer - Tommy - 'The Nut Job' - is immediately available.
Apparently this could put Larry The Cat's nose - or should that be paws? - out of joint. Well fuck Larry The Cat. He can take his Twitter campaign and shove it where the sun don't shine.
Boris likes it doggy style - allegedly - so a pooch could well suit him. I wonder what he'll call it. Based on his past form it'll be something unpronounceable.
His first missus was named Allegra Mostyn-Owen, and his next was the vaguely sensible Marina Wheeler.
Allegra, then Marina - fuck me - it sounds like he has a car fetish for British Leyland.
One of his many other 'bits on the side' was called - Petronella Wyatt. So he obviously likes 'em posh, with a public school background.
New girlfriend Carrie Symonds has moved in to Number Ten. She looks like she knows her way around Royal Ascot. As soon as I saw her picture my first thought was - gymkhana.
No doubt when she's had enough and fucked off from Downing Street, the Sun can run the following headline - "Carrie Doesn't Live here Anymore".
I'll give them that one for free - just remember you heard it here first.
Woof !
Apparently this could put Larry The Cat's nose - or should that be paws? - out of joint. Well fuck Larry The Cat. He can take his Twitter campaign and shove it where the sun don't shine.
Boris likes it doggy style - allegedly - so a pooch could well suit him. I wonder what he'll call it. Based on his past form it'll be something unpronounceable.
His first missus was named Allegra Mostyn-Owen, and his next was the vaguely sensible Marina Wheeler.
Allegra, then Marina - fuck me - it sounds like he has a car fetish for British Leyland.
One of his many other 'bits on the side' was called - Petronella Wyatt. So he obviously likes 'em posh, with a public school background.
New girlfriend Carrie Symonds has moved in to Number Ten. She looks like she knows her way around Royal Ascot. As soon as I saw her picture my first thought was - gymkhana.
No doubt when she's had enough and fucked off from Downing Street, the Sun can run the following headline - "Carrie Doesn't Live here Anymore".
I'll give them that one for free - just remember you heard it here first.
Woof !