Celebrity Shag Island

That popular TV show, I'm a Celebrity Let's Go to Shag Island is back.

Did it ever go away you might ask. Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck cares?

It's got a spin off series - I'm an actorrr and my other half is away in Rep in Birmingham, so let's get to it.

What's next ?

Celebrity Dentists - a fun packed show where D-grade celebrities make a ham fisted job of a dental hygiene inspection.

Celebrity Wallpapering - where D-grade celebrities get stuck at a pasting table whilst trying to hang some flock wallpaper.

Celebrity Dole Queue - where ex D-grade celebrities, who have fallen on hard times, have to eek out the week on a giro cheque and a diet of Pot Noodles.

Fuck me ragged, stop the world I want to get off.

Glasto

You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.

my Mum, your Dad

It's a new reality show FFS Endless permutations My Mum, your Dad My Mum, your Mum My Dad, your Dad My Mum, my Dad + your Dad My Mum, your Mum + your Dad Stay woof

it's bin day

I love a by election but only for the nutters who stand in them. I expected the Monster Raving Loony Party but there's a new kid on the block ... Count Binface. So i've been inspired to stand myself as his buddy, Count Benny of Thejets. Just like my inspiration Sir Elton, I'm still standing. My policies include:- Lowering taxes on dog food Campaigning for more poo bins Compulsory banning of cats Gotta go, I ate something 'dodgy' earlier in the park and I think I'm about to lose my deposit! Stay woof

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