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He's Been Round Again

The Grim Reaper has been round again, this time picking up Speedy the hamster. The pets in this place are deserting faster than advertisers at the News of the World at the moment. "Leave her outside for the cats," was me Dad's cruel suggestion. Followed by "OK then, let's tie her to a bit of string and whirl her around our heads to see if we can attract one of those Red Kites that keep flying over." The heartless bastard, I think he watched Kes on Film4 the other night. Me Mum held a simple but moving ceremony at the bottom of the garden and tucked Speedy up for the last time under the Acer, next to Stanley the cross-dressing guinea pig. I hope that the cats don't keep digging her up as we didn't have a spare shoebox handy to put her in. She's gone in "au naturale" as they say. That's it then, just three pets left. Gizmo the hamster, looks a bit frail he does, about 4 or 5 he is which is 180 in human terms I think. Then there's Muff the guinea pig, we had a scare with her the other week but she seems to have got over it. She's about 6, which is also getting on a bit. Every cloud though, think of all the money we will save on cucumbers when they've both gone....

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