Langkau ke kandungan utama

Is It Just Me?

Or have you two leggeds also had enough of  this pissing bastard rain? I've got four fucking feet to get wet, so I'm twice as pissed off with the whole sorry bastard pissed wet through situation than you are. I blame Cameron & Clegg. Not so much a pair of wet lettuces as a couple of pissed wet through lettuces. We all fucking knew what was bastard coming the second we were declared to be in an official drought didn't we? Run the country? They couldn't run a pissing raffle them two. Not that I'm a fan of Millibands either, I'd rather gnaw off me own paw than have that shallow bastard in charge. I didn't vote any of them in so I don't see why I should have to put up with it. Spain may be in the shit, fair play to them, but at least they don't have to put up with it coming down like fucking stair rods for a month do they? Oh no, they can have a nice siesta in the sun whilst they're waiting for the dole cheque to come can't they. We haven't seen the bastard sun for weeks round here. I can't even go outside for a piss or a shit as the back garden is under three feet of water, so I'm having to "camel it" as they say. There's a terrier piss and shit tsunami coming once this lot eases off I'm telling you. Back to me bean bag I suppose, there's balls all else to do.

Catatan popular daripada blog ini

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too
Baca lagi

My Mate Frank

Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...
Baca lagi

Snow

Bloody snow, I hate the stuff. It snowed here on Saturday, which meant that my Sunday morning constitutional consisted of me running around Horseshoe Field at Conyngham bollock deep in the wretched white stuff tying to put on a display of pleasure for the two-leggeds. "Ah look at him, he loves snow," they'd say. "Look at him running and jumping around in it." Well you'd run and jump around if your bollocks were dangling in snow wouldn't you? Me poor little paws were frozen solid by the time we got back to the car. Pooh count: two, both of them "steamers" - in fact one of them was giving off so much vapour it reminded me of Drax power station, except a bit smaller and browner obviously. And it probably couldn't have powered 20,000 homes in Pontefract. A small pensioners bungalow maybe. As long as they didn't have all the lights on, and the bath running. They don't have many baths pensioners do they? One a month maybe, so the chances ...
Baca lagi