Have You Seen The Price Of Meat These Days?

Me Dad popped into the Deli in town today for a bit of shopping, leaving me tied up outside for hygiene reasons he said. Hygiene my arse, there's nothing wrong with my hygiene, I lick it clean every day whether it needs it or not. Anyway when he came back out he was shaking like a shitting dog. He'd just bought four slices of cooked beef, and was charged £10.70 for the privilege! Sweet Baby Jesus. He followed it up with a request for two slices of turkey, he probably would have asked for four but he only had fifty quid on him. Two slices of turkey set him back a further £5.70! Fuck me rigid, the turkey was even dearer than the bastard beef. "Erm, I only wanted to buy two slices of turkey, not fly to the place business class" came me Dad's witty retort. I think that must have gone over the girl's head. "I can put one back if you like?" she replied. "Put one back and I'll only have fucking one, not two won't I? And I want two. Drop yer bastard fucking prices to something in line with bastard fucking reality you fucking gobshite. It's only fucking beef and turkey, not bastard gold bastard bars I'm buying here. In fact have you got any gold bastard fucking bars out the back? I'll have half a dozen of the fuckers if you do as they're probably cheaper pound for pound than your bastard cold meat selection you robbing fucking bastards. I mean I know feed is expensive, but what are these fuckers being fed on? Those fucking coffee beans that come out of the arses of those meerkat looking bastard weaselly things?" I'd have loved it if that had of been his jocular reply. But instead "no, no, that's fine," he capitulated. The wanker.