Langkau ke kandungan utama

nPower And EastEnders

nPower have apparently received thousands of thank you letters following their latest energy bill price hike. They come from people thanking them for bringing their inheritances forward by a few years. Woof. I watched that EastEnders thing for the first time ever on the telly last night after there was a bit of a panic on when the teenager's iPad broke and he couldn't watch it in his room (at least I think it was EastEnders, it could have been CrimeWatch). It's very similar to Strictly Come Dancing and the X Factor I thought. Fucking shit. Me Dad doesn't care for it much either, he said that he'd rather shit in his hands and clap than watch that again. It's the Bake Off final tonight, we'll all be watching that though, if only to see if Mary Berry has clung onto life for another week. She doesn't look well does she? Like a fucking skull with lipstick on she is. Still, I imagine she'll make a fortune at Halloween, if she can manage to wring another week out of life. She must be about 160 at least. I reckon that they only reason that the BBC picked her for the job was that it was the only woman that they could find that they thought would be safe around Paul "I'll just put my baguette to one side to rise" Hollywood. The dirty get.

Catatan popular daripada blog ini

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too
Baca lagi

My Mate Frank

Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...
Baca lagi

Snow

Bloody snow, I hate the stuff. It snowed here on Saturday, which meant that my Sunday morning constitutional consisted of me running around Horseshoe Field at Conyngham bollock deep in the wretched white stuff tying to put on a display of pleasure for the two-leggeds. "Ah look at him, he loves snow," they'd say. "Look at him running and jumping around in it." Well you'd run and jump around if your bollocks were dangling in snow wouldn't you? Me poor little paws were frozen solid by the time we got back to the car. Pooh count: two, both of them "steamers" - in fact one of them was giving off so much vapour it reminded me of Drax power station, except a bit smaller and browner obviously. And it probably couldn't have powered 20,000 homes in Pontefract. A small pensioners bungalow maybe. As long as they didn't have all the lights on, and the bath running. They don't have many baths pensioners do they? One a month maybe, so the chances ...
Baca lagi