I wouldn't normally have anything to do with cats, but this is inspired. Bit like that doggy that looked like Hitler. Stay woof

More ideas for those clever telly people. Travel Man, 24 hours in Grimsby Celebrity Wallpapering My Gran, Your Grandad etc Inside the Convent Glasgow: a Binge Drinkers Paradise How to get rid of moths People who pi** in swimming pools, exposed Michael Portillo, Great Bus Rides round rural Britain Susan Calman's Celebrity Curling Cooking with Spam, top recipes Britain's top 10 dog biscuits Stay woof

Dad's been in a foul temper with all the roadworks that have popped up. They dig up the same road time after time. This time they really outshone themselves, but cutting acces to his driveway in a classic pincer move much beloved the German Panzer divisions of WW2. THEY DUG UP ROAD THE ROAD ON BOTH SIDES of his house making it impossible to get in or out.  Then they dug a trench and put up barriers. I'm amazed they didn't mine it and cover with trip wire. He spoke to them and asked "why they had to dig up this road yet again". "It's been dug more time than the Valley of the Kings" - ok these may not the exact words he used. They replied that they hadn't worked on that as it wasn't in their area. FFS, stay woof

Isn't nature wonderful? I went for a walk today down by the canal, nice a few sniffs. Then I felt the urge for a number 2. Amazed to find I'd curled one off that was different colours. I looks like the dog poop equivalent of a Snickers. Soft on the outside with a nutty centre. I'm especially proud of the way I've pooped out individual peanuts. Isn't nature wonderful? Stay woof

Take a bow Micah P Hinson I rather like his music. Don't you Forget About Me. Stay woof

 My god; how low can you go in TV terms, quite low is the answer. There are no end of permutations - except anything involving doggies - well until now. My Mum, Your Dad ... plus the chihuahua ! Stay woof !