Amazing isn't it? In the very same week that they've nailed the location of Richard lll it looks like they've only gone and found Lord Lucan too. And in an equally unlikely place as Dicky#3 was secreted it has to be said. In a packet of Tesco sausages no less. Human tooth found in Tesco sausages It would seem that shopping at Tesco is like pushing a trolley around a giant Kinder Egg, you never quite know what you are going to get. Horses, human teeth, bloodied syringes. How very exciting. I particularly like the comment that "she didn't touch a sausage for about a month after that." Phnaar, phnarrr. No chance of a banger there then. It's pleasing to note that they are "confident that the tooth was not in the sausage when it arrived in the store" - I bet that's put your mind at rest. They don't tell us how they reckon it did get in there. Maybe it belongs to one of the staff? On the other hand a customer could have put it there. Looking a...

Interesting to see Woy use last night's friendly against Brazil to check whether James Milner is still shit or not. That's that one cleared up, Woy. He is, and most certainly always will be. Even I could have told you that, and I'm a Border Terrier. Did anyone clock his nose by the way. Woy's that is, not James Milner's. Thinking about it though, James Milner's nose is probably a better dribbler than he is. But I digress. Woy's nose seems to have suddenly developed a bit of an Albert Tatlock look to it. Has anyone from the FA ever checked to see if that really is Lucozade Sport in that bottle under his seat? In the after match interview I kept expecting Woy to put his arm round the TV presenter and say "you're my best mate you are. I fucking love you. Come on, let's hear it.....start spreading the newwwwwsssss, da da da da, da da da da da....fuck off Milner, you're shit....Stevie come on son, join in, you like a bevvie don't you mate, co...

Or in this case Young's prime cod fillets. Never have I ever seen anything look so fucking unlike the picture on the box in all my sorry fucking life. If they'd have had a picture of a very small grey flat thing wrapped in shit then it would have been a pretty fair representation of what the box contained. Instead, for marketing reasons I assume, they chose to adorn the box with a lovely sparkling white super flakey piece of cod wrapped in a succulent golden batter. So of course the ungrateful two legged lot won't eat the shit, so I have to have it for me tea. Me. A Border Terrier that happily eats other dog's shit in the park for fun faced with three and a half fillets of this excrement. I'd rather gnaw me own paw off thanks. A terrier turd on a stick is on it's way to these wankers. Look out for it inside a box marked "gourmet sheek kebab" in a frozen food aisle near you shortly.