Looks Like They've Finally Found Lord Lucan Now

Amazing isn't it? In the very same week that they've nailed the location of Richard lll it looks like they've only gone and found Lord Lucan too. And in an equally unlikely place as Dicky#3 was secreted it has to be said. In a packet of Tesco sausages no less. Human tooth found in Tesco sausages It would seem that shopping at Tesco is like pushing a trolley around a giant Kinder Egg, you never quite know what you are going to get. Horses, human teeth, bloodied syringes. How very exciting. I particularly like the comment that "she didn't touch a sausage for about a month after that." Phnaar, phnarrr. No chance of a banger there then. It's pleasing to note that they are "confident that the tooth was not in the sausage when it arrived in the store" - I bet that's put your mind at rest. They don't tell us how they reckon it did get in there. Maybe it belongs to one of the staff? On the other hand a customer could have put it there. Looking at some of the fucking drongos that they get in Tesco that has to be a possibility. In fact it's a photo finish as to who's the thickest, the staff or the customers. They reckon that Michael Jackson got the idea for the Thriller video after popping down to Tesco's for a quarter of dolly mixtures, a tube of KY and a couple of pound of bananas for that fucking monkey he used to keep you know. He really loved that monkey, with the arse hanging out of it, he did. The monkey on the other hand was probably chuffed to fucking bits when he snuffed it. Woof.