About poor old Nelson Mandela. I thought he was fucking brilliant in the Shawshank Redemption. Mind you, did you see some of the shirts he used to wear? Fuck me, I'm not surprised that they locked him up. Twenty seven years is maybe a tad harsh though. The fashion police must be strict as fuck in South Africa I reckon. Still, respect where it's due. I'd had enough of hearing about that fucking Scottish helicopter crash anyway. Woof.

Me Dad says that giving it up requires dedication, hard work and depth of character. Which is presumably why he's never done it. He'd had a few last night that's for sure. Something to do with Everton beating Man Utd, whoever the fuck they are. I wouldn't know, football is a tarts game. Chasing tennis balls and rolling in Shit, they're the sports for me. And eating, obviously.

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word" is what they say. Unless you're Chinese of course and then it's "Squirrel" apparently. Woof.