What a load of shite that is. Literally. The youngest two-legged came home today with some "spring rolls" that he'd made. I use the quotation marks as these were the largest spring rolls that I've even seen by a country mile. I didn't know it was humanly possible to get filo pastry in sheets that fucking big. Massive rolls of lino is what they resembled. Rolls if lino that had been made several hours previously and left to "marinade" in their own sweat in a Tupperware container on the window sill for half the fucking day. Crisp they weren't. Forget all notions of crispness. If there's a machine for measuring crispness (I'm sure I've seen Heston Blumenthal use one) then it would have needed re-calibrating to get low enough to measure the fucking soggy uncrispiness of these sorry looking sweaty bastards. Not only that but the cookery teacher, or do they call her a food design technologist or something these days, whatever, the cookery teach