I'm just an ordinary comprehensive school multi millionaire who stabbed his brother in the back to further his own career like the rest  of you/us. Honest. And I am from planet earth despite my physically reptillian appearance.

"I came along, I did a little pooh, just on the grass for you, and it was all yellow..." Did the most amazing shiny yellow pooh whilst walking round the Valley Gardens on Sunday morning. I wanted to keep it, but me Dad was having none of it. The tight get. If we'd have stuck a pair of sunglasses on it, it would have been a dead ringer for Yoko Ono. Probably a bit prettier actually, come to think of it. Those sorts of things sell for thousands on eBay you know. A piece of toast that looks like Elvis, a corn flake in the shape of Illinois. People will buy anything original like that on there, so I'm certain that we'd have had a lot of interest in it, especially from the Far East. No, not the Chinese on King's Road, the Orient you daft bugger. It must have been that Chicken Madras on Friday night I reckon. Oooh, you should never give a Border Terrier a Chicken Madras. It's like one of the unwritten rules of Good Terrier Housekeeping. It's trueeeee, look h...