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Showing posts from February 20, 2011

It's A Funny World Isn't It?

Me Dad was trying to trade some sugar beet yesterday, and the potential buyer wanted to know if it was non-GM, as his customer (a petfood manufacturer) would only buy it if it was. I can tell you with some degree of authority that pets don't care if the stuff is non-GM or not. Most of us eat our own shit given half a chance. The last time I went for a walk on Saltburn beach I had a severed seagull's head in my mouth for Christ's sake. Until me Dad wrestled it from my tightly clenched grip, the tight bastard. I've got no idea of the GM status of my own shit or severed seagull's heads, but I suspect that they don't come will a lot in the way of paperwork if you get my drift. Pooh count: a respectable four, and it's not even teatime yet.

Trouble With A Capital T

It's only 9am and I'm already in the doghouse. Just because there are two puddles on the kitchen floor this morning they immediately jump to the wild conclusion that I am in some way responsible, the tight bastards. It's a good job (literally) that they haven't looked behind the settee yet is all I can say. I may have to have that for my mid morning snack later. Destroy the evidence so to speak. I really am treated like a bloody dog in this place.

Watching The Telly Last Night

I like to keep up with current affairs. Did you see that Yank boarding one of our planes sent to get our chaps and chapesses out of Libya. He said something like "I never thought I'd be so glad to see a British aeroplane" they cheeky bugger. I'd have thrown him back onto the Tripoli tarmac and left him there. Pooh count: just managed to squeeze a small one out. It's a struggle today.

Quick Update

This is going to have to be a quick one, as they've taken my iPod off me for weeing in the kitchen again. He's away on biz and she's watching some gardening rubbish on telly so I've snook onto the lappy upstairs. Me Dad rang up before and said that he had to make a speech today, and he decided at the last minute to clean it up a bit so as not to offend anyone. Which meant he didn't do the "Mother Theresa, Michael Jackson and Stephen Hawking walk into a gay bar" joke. Which is a bit of a shame as it's the only funny one he knows. Pooh count: 3 softs and one hard one. Of course Mother Theresa, Michael Jackson and Stephen Hawking couldn't walk into a bar in real life could they? Two of them are dead and the other one can't walk.

Gaddafi Duck

Libya's self-styled leader says that he's prepared to stand and fight for martyrdom rather than flee the country. Erm, you won't mind telling everyone where you are then will you big man? Your mate Saddam was pretty good at hide and seek too as I recall, even though I'm only a two year old border terrier. Pooh count 6: and all of them look like you Gaddafi, go on what's your address and I'll post them to you.

I Facebooked Your Facebook

An Egyptian man has apparently named his new born daughter Facebook in honour of the website's role in the ousting of President Mubarak. I can only assume that his next kid is going to be called YouTube then? Link here . Pooh count: just the one, I think there's something wrong with me.