Me Dad's home! He's been away for a couple of nights at some wank do called Cereals, whatever the fuck that is. It sure sounds like a steaming pile of faeces to me. Cereals. Fucking cereals, what's so interesting about pissing fuckin bastard cereals. Pigs eat them don't they? Sausages, yes, put me name down for Sausages 2014. I'll be there at the front of the bastard queue for Sausages. Anyway, he's back, which is nice, although he looks a bit shagged to me. Apparently he didn't sleep very well on account of the fuckin picture of that talentless twat Lenny Henry that adorned his bedside table. He says it was like that film where the kid has a fuckin psycho puppet/clown thing that lives on a seat in the corner of it's bedroom with a moronic fuckin grin on it's stupid bastard face. Always looking at him. From it's talentless face. I mean, I'm not racist, I'm a Border Terrier, but he does look like an idiotic clueless twat when he puts that ...