Well; fuck me but it's been a while since I had a rant. But then hey; when there is so much "woke generation bollocks" TV about a rant is never far away. We've had Bake Off, Sewing Bee, Hairstyling and then Make Up, it was only a matter of time before another craft related program hits the airwaves.  All the others are frankly a bit girly but this one had a whiff of masculinity about it. Handmade, the search for Britain's Best Woodworker.  At least that's what I though until I caught last nights Grand Final episode. There was only a bloke on it called Misti, he looked like that singer guy from Jethro Tull, and just like him I am pretty certain that Misti is an expert in playing the flute or pink oboe. Misti looked like a bloke, had a chin like a bloke and voice like bloke, and the build of bloke but ... it turns out he's a woman. The judges had to call him 'she' and praise the journey that Misti has been on throughout the program.  Inside I'm ...

Well after last week's unsurprising elimination of little Alfie Suggs, who shit himself during the Technical Round, there are still plenty of contestants left.  Here's little Bratella Johnson, she's a vegan, gluten intolerant, people intolerant and doesn't like being asked to do anything. She's going to fuckin' struggle in Pie Week then if she doesn't like meat or wheat.  After all Mummy 'wheat is murder', all those fields full of crops makes me sick. Plus that goldfish you got for me from the fun fair  -"how would you like to go round in a circle all day in a tiny cramped space?". After Mummy pointed out that they live in a council flat in Swindon, she does know exactly what that's like you little cow. Undeterred Bratella decided to make her pork pie from some nettles with a soggy tofu crust, earning her a now infamous Paul Bollywood headbutt. What we need now are few more PC contestants, like Winston Cadogo who may just possibly be of...

Fuck me, yet another load of TV tosh to view, This time it's NOT the Great British Bake Off, it's JUNIOR Bake Off! Who the hell needs to see someone's else's little brat showing off their cooking skills? Here's a run down of the contestants. Alfie Suggs aged 3, he loves beans, every meal features beans. Likes to smear his dinner in his hair and on his face. Tristram Ffforbes-Smyth Rhys-Mogg  aged 5, calls the servant when he wants his dinner. Foie Gras, Beluga Caviar, Oven Roasted Pheasant with Quail eggs, that sort of thing. Chelsea-Marie aged 3; Nevers eats anything until she's screamed herself hoarse for 10 minutes first. Sulks in the corner. etc Who makes these programs up? Junior Bake Off, Britain's Got Toddler Talent. Or Infant War Reporter; where plucky 5 year olds visit war torn Sudan, and report direct from the front line with Eritrea. There's enough shite on TV already without adding Junior Toddler Chef to the list.  Sadly in Episode 1 little...