Apparently a BBC radio survey found that more than a quarter of British 18-24 year olds don't trust Muslims. Not as high as the 95% of 5-15 year olds that don't trust BBC employees mind. Woof. Bored bastard shitless I am, stuck in the house on me own again. I'd give Esther Rantzen a call, but I don't trust her either. And another thing, if BBC employees were all illegally bang at it with minors (no not miners, Arthur Scargill couldn't score in a brothel I reckon - the male equivalent of a munter - a manter possibly, he was) in the 70's then are we to assume that ITV employees were completely innocent? Doesn't sound likely does it? What exactly was that white stuff in Dickie Davies' hair for example? You know what I'm saying. Talking of munters did anyone see Only Connect this week, I like a nice quiz me. Was that a trannie or what? The thing with the very deep voice in the red dress? The one that was about nine feet tall. Looked a bit like Arthur Mul...

What a fucking smug little pain in the arse she is, eh? I HATE it when they let her read the news, she's always wearing this irritating, barely concealed little smirk have you noticed? "59 people, including women and children, have been killed in a chemical weapons attack in Syria (Thinks: I'm alright in Hertfordshire though, that's the main thing. We really must get that man in to drain the moat this weekend. Smirk). The Kenyan hostage crisis enters day three (doesn't my new jacket look ace? Smirk). Taliban behead 12-year old schoolgirl (I'm going shopping later, I really need some new shoes. Smirk)....etc, etc. Me Dad has discovered that a great way to wind me Mum up is to pretend that he fancies her. "I hate that Fiona Bruce, what does she think she looks like?" To which he'll reply, incredulous, "What? I think she looks quite foxy in that collar-less tweed jacket, you should get a jacket like that. You could do worse than pick up a few sa...