I've decided to have a style makeover, in keeping with my new found status as the Modern Artiste - aka Poohgle. Here's an exclusive pic from my forthcoming photo shoot for Woof Magazine! Mind you that magazine does my fuckin' nut in, it's full of bollocks.  I'm not even the headline on the front page - where I DESERVE to be. Just look who's ahead of ME.  1. Gemma from Towie - "my private grief at loss of my grandma". If it's private grief, luv, how come it's plastered over pages 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. Plus there's a photo shoot of the wake afterwards.  2. "Kaden dumps Jaden" - hold on I might have got that wrong. Is it "Jaden that's dumped Kaden?". I've never heard of either them, so fuck knows.  3. "Jordan - I've tattooed my quim". Jordan shares her new saucy tattoo with us. It's for my boyfriend(s) eye(s) only she claims. What does it say - it's a curly arrow pointing a...

I've got to stop reading BBC news - every time I do, I come away thinking how much more PC bollocks can a terrier take? This week, the Birmingham Repertory Theater has got a new play on for the children at half-term. No wonder me Mum calls it "kiss my arse Birmingham". The play is called Penguins. It's based on the real story of two chinstrap penguins from New York Zoo, called Roy and Silo. No,  I've never heard of chinstrap penguins either, but hey, let's go with it.  They have to incubate an egg, and then raise the chick. Sounds good I hear you say - the kids will f*****n' love that. Two cute little penguins facing the adversity of an arctic winter, all set to music. But hold on - these penguins are BOTH male. According to the theatre, Roy and Silo are GAY penguins, I'm amazed they don't come from San Francisco. L ike any other penguins  they can walk, play, swim and dance together. Happily there's no mention of any of the other activ...