Judging by my swollen inbox, oh, er missus, I am not alone in thinking that these twats are a load of Hitler fixated fudge packers in lycra. I've even had cyclists admitting to me that the bell-ends in lycra do their heads in too. Vermin, that's what they are. And what do we do with fucking vermin? That's right, we fucking kill it don't we? I am therefore declaring this weekend National Twat A Fucking Cyclist weekend. Think about it, this is our fucking road that we fucking pay for. Well when I say "we" I mean me Dad and you lot, I'm a dog, I don't pay for fuck all, but neither do I cycle 16 abreast with all me mates down the B2437. I'm not entitled, you see. I know my place, so I don't do it. These twats aren't entitled either. Do they pay cycling tax? No they fucking don't. They might pay car tax, some of them, but that's for driving their fucking cars on the B2437 NOT a fucking bike. You can't have three cars and only pay roa...

Who do the think they are? Arrogant lycra clad wankers, that's who they are. Just because the Tour de France is on the telly doesn't mean that you can hog the fucking road 16 abreast you know. Get to flying fucking fuck the lot of you and get a proper hobby. Have you ever noticed that these groups are almost exclusively male by the way? I mean there may be the odd female in there, she's probably a lezzer anyway so that doesn't count, but generally these twats clogging up the country's A roads and B roads on a Sunday morning are blokes. You can see where I'm heading here can't you? The reason they cycle so fast is that they're all fucking chasing each other and can't wait to get back to the fucking clubhouse where the real action takes place, if you know what I mean. Fuck this cycling malarky, let's get back to the showers for some proper fun. "Oh Frank, can you hep me off with my shorts, this lycra's gone right up me sweaty bum crack so ...

Fuck off you fat wankers. What do you think you look like? Seriously? You look like fat lycra-clad wankers to me. So fuck right fucking off you fucking stupid Jackson Pollack clad tit faced cock ends and take your fucking twatting 16 abreast fucking bastard titting fucking wanking cycling with you, you arses. Do I make myself fucking bastard fucking pissing bastard clear you cock faced tit headed bell ends?