We appeared to be having some minor issues with design/images going missing here this morning, for a minute I thought that the bastards were censoring me due to me poor affliction, it's a fuckin curse it is to be piss bastard sure. For one minute I thought I was going to have to erase all me posts containing swear words. Or all me posts to put it another way. Turns out it was summat else entirely. Me Dad reckons that he's sorted it now anyway. A fuckin genius that bloke. Even if he is a fat, lazy, ugly get. I've never seen him so mad as he was this morning when he caught our neighbour's dog doing a shit in our back garden. So he picked it up and shoved it through their letterbox. Well, at least he got it's front legs and head in anyway. Woof.

Me Dad says that the chances of being killed in an air crash is 1 in 4,600,000, whereas being killed in a fire is a 1 in 40,000 chance. That's why he never travels by fire. That's what he reckons anyway, the fat get. Still, he did take me out for a nice long walk on Saturday, which kind of partly made up for him leaving me in the house on my own all day Sunday. Bored out of my skull I was, not to mention starving hungry as I didn't get me tea until half past seven. Christ, they'd been out that long that even the fecking log basket was starting to look tasty. Talking of which did you hear about the blind guy who got a packet of Brillo pads mixed up with a packet of shredded wheat and ate two Brillo pads for his breakfast? He's in intensive care but the doctors say that they think he'll scrape through. In other news, I see that a petition for Scotland to be granted it's independence has attracted more than a million signatures. And that's just from Englan...