I had to change my password this week. It had be at least 8 characters long. So I chose this. sn0wwh1teandthe7evenquitesm4llbutstillValuedmembersoftheCommunity. Stay woof

Fuck me, I see that midget gems are going to be rebranded as mini gems ! The classic sports car the err MG Midget will be called the MG Mini, not to be confused with the err mini Mini.  Midget submarines are now called micro submarines, and really small people will renamed as micro people. "It's not big and it's not clever" to call small people midgets an academic complained. Does it apply the other way? Is Northern Ireland's key attraction now known as the Really Large Causeway, or former wrestler Giant Haystacks called Very Tall Haystacks? I bought a dwarf, oops small l, rose at the Ethnically Diverse Garden Centre the other week. All I can say is FUCK OFF with your politically correct bollocks. I'll put that in  LARGE PRINT. Or small print if you prefer. stay woof!

Question: "What do John Lennon and a packet of quavers have in common?" Answer: "They both come - in yellow bags !" Allegedly me Dad told this joke to the kids after a few beverages. When they said - they didn't get it - he just replied - "Ask your Mum!" Not even Jimmy Carr could get away with that - Woof!

Woo hoo, it seems Bojo has gone to far. My uncle has just got back from the pub, but he assures me he didn't know it was a pub. He thought it was someone's house with a friendly attitude towards strangers. If I'd known it was a pub I'd have kept schtum he said. I had 4 pints, a curry, a few more pints and then drove home. What's the fuckin problem? Stay woof