Out for a walk the other day we walked past this big field of pigs. I love pigs I do, lazing around all day, eating and rolling in shit, what a great life. And their ears taste nice too, when they've finished with them. Me Dad likes pigs as well, I think they remind him fondly of his ex missus. He said that once when she was eating a bowl of soup she accidentally spilled it all over herself and said "Christ look at the state of me, I look like a right pig." Me Dad said "Yeah, and you've got soup all over yourself now as well." Which he says didn't go down too well. Some people are so picky aren't they? She said "Sometimes you just treat our relationship like a game" to which he replied "Do you wanna go 50:50 on that or phone a friend?" He says he came home from work once and said to her "I've got a new nickname for you." She said "What is it?" He said "Bambi" She said "Aww, is that 'cos I