Talk about an invasion of privacy. Mind you they've never been that good at invasions the bloody French have they? I for one am furious with them. Not only have they breached the trust and privacy of the British royal family, but if you're going to take topless pictures of one of the Middleton sisters, at least choose the right fucking one! The soft gets. Personally, I feel badly let down and disappointed. They're so small aren't they? Not like the Queen's. She's got massive Ma'ams her Mamjesty, have you seen them? Proper Royal jugs they are. Like a couple of space hoppers that have recently strayed over a bed of nails they are. Without the funny faces drawn on them, obviously. I bet randy old Phil the Greek has had a fair old time playing with those Royal Funbags over the years. In a recent interview with the Daily Sport Gentleman's Almanac Prince Phillip apparently confessed that her Mamjesty and he used to indulge in a bit of S&M bondage, blindfo...

Why on earth would anyone decide to bury Richard III in a car park? I know a thing or two about "Richard the thirds" and it's never even once crossed my mind to bury one of mine in a car park I can tell you. There's the obvious tarmac problem for a kick off, not to mention dodgy women drivers trying to reverse their Nissan Micra as if it was a 38 tonne lorry. Surely they'd be better off concentrating their search in some nearby bushes? And Leicester of all places. Jesus Christ, Fucking Leicester. I've been to Leicester and it's shit. Completely shit. On a shitness scale of 0-10 Leicester is easily a 12, maybe a 13 if it's raining. Although come to think of it maybe there's a clue in there. Maybe they've come across some ancient manuscript that says something like "Headeth off to the shittiest place in all the land, there thee will find a kingly mound, in the McDonalds grill order bay dig up the third, where thee will find nestling a Richar...