Has kicked off then I see. Me Dad's all set. He's got himself all "beer co-ordinated" he told me Mum. He's got some Becks in the fridge for when Germany are playing because it's German. Some San Miguel in the fridge for when Spain are playing as it's Spanish and some Carling in the fridge for when England play as it's shit. Woof. "Stevie Me" says that England players have been practising for any possible upcoming penalty shootouts by turning away in disgust and looking dejected. Woof, woof.

Well, no sooner am I back from a stint at the Kennels/Stalag 45 than me Mum and Dad announce that I'm back in again on Wednesday as they are going to some bag of shite thing called Cereals - whatever the fuck that is. Sounds like a right fuckin barrels of laughs doesn't it? Cereals? From what I can gather it's a load of pissed up farmers wandering around looking for freebies and moaning about how hard done to they are. "One of the Range Rovers might have to go is wheat gets any cheaper than this. Young Rupert and Cassandra's school fees don't pay themselves you know. We could always sell one of the smaller houses or the hunting lodge I suppose, what, what, what, what, what. If it wasn't for the subsidy cheque we'd have to dump the bally skiing chalet in Gstaad. Jemima would be simply besides herself if we had to do that....."