Hi there; I bet you lot thought I'd had a doggy virus or something. No I haven't - nor has Tommy "worse luck". You'd have thought that with that all bum sniffing he does; that he'd have been a dead cert to get it. Nope the fucker's still here. I've been socially distancing myself from him for months now; although the bastard has no idea what that means - he just bowls onto the sofa without a bye your leave. Twat. The markets have been up and down like a bride's nightie, but at least I learned a new word - CONTANGO. Basically the oil price shit itself a while back; and they were giving the stuff away. Me Uncle tells me at one point oil was selling at MINUS $55 a barrel. Yep they were paying you to take it away. He tried his luck at the local co-op; calmly filling his tank and then sauntering up to the counter and demanded £50 quid from the till. Co-op staff don't seem to understand global oil markets, fuckers. Even worse that guy on