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I've been contangoed

Hi there; I bet you lot thought I'd had a doggy virus or something. No I haven't - nor has Tommy "worse luck". You'd have thought that with that all bum sniffing he does; that he'd have been a dead cert to get it. Nope the fucker's still here.

I've been socially distancing myself from him for months now; although the bastard has no idea what that means - he just bowls onto the sofa without a bye your leave. Twat.

The markets have been up and down like a bride's nightie, but at least I learned a new word - CONTANGO. Basically the oil price shit itself a while back; and they were giving the stuff away. Me Uncle tells me at one point oil was selling at MINUS $55 a barrel. Yep they were paying you to take it away.



He tried his luck at the local co-op; calmly filling his tank and then sauntering up to the counter and demanded £50 quid from the till. Co-op staff don't seem to understand global oil markets, fuckers.

Even worse that guy on the counter has a skin condition so bad his face, forehead and arms look like the inside of a badly lime-scaled kettle. That bugger should be behind a glass screen permanently - woof


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I wouldn't normally have anything to do with cats, but this is inspired. Bit like that doggy that looked like Hitler. Stay woof