Fuck me I've been listening to the BBC again - I know I shouldn't cos it's a wind-up every time. Some nonce has just been on saying ready made dog food is BAD - and we doggies need GOOD food that is home-cooked. They then proceeded to test their home cooked recipes on some poor unsuspecting mutts. First off was something that contained Turkey, Quinoa and Kale that had been blow dried. What the fuck is Quinoa? or Keenwah as the bloke pronounced it. Bollocks to that. My doggy needs are simple: - 1. Meat. 2. Gravy. 3. Peas ... I fuckin' love peas. That's it. Of course if I'm out and about in the park I'm not averse to a spot of 'al fresco' dining. I don't mind the odd bit of foraging either; like that bloke Hugh Fearnley Whatsinstore. A choice bit of manure or horse d'oeuvres as I like to call it. Follow that up by some cool, long, grass in a bird crap coulis - it goes down a treat. Of course it might come out a bit runny at ...

I see Poundland - aka the chav's House of Fraser has gone into administration. A spokesman said it was "due to a difficult High Street and tough market conditions. Poundland also blamed competition from discounters. Fuck me ... who the hell can undercut Poundland? The shop where you can buy a complete set of steak knives plus a BBQ grill for just £1. Is it "50p-world"? Or perhaps it's "get the two p's from the back of the sofa dot co dot uk" who can sell stuff cheaper than Poundland? I know it must be that bloke from Liverpool from a bygone age - "five blades for two bob". We must really be in the shit now - if shops like Poundland, Bargain Booze and Maplins have bit the dust. I blame Brexit. Woof. Either that or it was selling charcoal fucking toothpaste.