According to OK magazine Kerry Katona's had an ass hole transplant! Have you seen the stop press though? The ass hole's rejected her! Woof. I'm not kidding - are there no depths a celebrity won't plumb to get some oxygen of publicity? Apparently not. She has stunned her Instagram followers by filming herself getting a Brazilian bum lift. #ass hole, #desperate, #hashtag - #sillybitch. The former Atomic Kitten singer has changed her look many times over the years - from being blonde to being purple. I don't want to pick faults here; but I'm pretty sure Prince covered that whole being purple thing to a tee. Oh yeah; he could fuckin' sing as well. Now the mum-of-five - by six different dad's - wants tighter and more perkier buttocks. Here's the before and after shot of her bum; let's see if you can spot the differences. Woof ! Yep - she's left the label showing on her panties n the last shot. Plus it looks like she's had...

Fuck me; bloody students! Its been drawn to my attention that those berks at Manchester University have ditched clapping as a sign of appreciation. And what is it being replaced with - I hear you ask? A big thumbs UP or thumbs DOWN like in that film Gladiator perhaps? Fuck me no; that would be vaguely sensible. It's being replaced in favour of "jazz hands". Reps at the University have voted to replace noisy appreciation - i.e clapping - with the British Sign Language equivalent - a soundless wave of both hands. Union officer Sara Khan said traditional clapping can cause issues for students with autism, sensory issues or deafness. I suspect Mizz Khan might have a few issues; I've certainly got an ISSUE myself - what the fucks wrong with clapping? I know students are thick, but how many of the fuckers have never seen anyone clap before? What about blind students; how are they gonna see someone waving at them? I've got an idea for Manchester University. The...