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Showing posts from November 27, 2011

Clarkson

Jeremy Clarkson has been reprimanded for saying that striking public sector workers should be shot in front of their families, I read on the Beeb today. I however agree with him, they wouldn't be whining on about their pensions then would they? And think of all the jobs it would create. Pooh count: three, one for the hospital workers, one for the teachers and a sloppy Joe for air traffic control at Heathrow.

Get Back To Work

You lazy buggers. Drove past Harrogate Hospital on me way for a walk this morning and they're all hanging around outside there with their placards expecting people to honk their horns in a show of support. Well there wasn't much honking going on I can tell you. I'd have honked all over them given half the chance. Was planning on chucking them a sample of my finest on the way back but couldn't fathom out how to use the electric windows in time. Bugger. Watch out for a suspiciously odourous jiffy bag in the next couple of days Harrogate Hospital. The Grammar School better look out too. I can't curl them out fast enough this week.

It's No Joke

The M1 was apparently closed in both directions near Sheffield last night after a lorry load of Marmite crashed on the motorway, say the BBC with not a pun in sight. No mention of skid marks on the marmite motorway, or soldiers being sent to clear up the mess or even if it crashed into 25 tonnes of toast heading in the opposite direction. Nothing. This isn't what we pay the licence fee for is it? Not that I pay a licence fee of course, I'm a dog, border terriers are exempt. All I need to do now is find out where the lorry was headed and I can mail them off a few tonnes of my own personal marmite concentrate. It's the same colour but tastes far nicer.