I've decided to have a style makeover, in keeping with my new found status as the Modern Artiste - aka Poohgle. Here's an exclusive pic from my forthcoming photo shoot for Woof Magazine!
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Mind you that magazine does my fuckin' nut in, it's full of bollocks. I'm not even the headline on the front page - where I DESERVE to be. Just look who's ahead of ME.
1. Gemma from Towie - "my private grief at loss of my grandma". If it's private grief, luv, how come it's plastered over pages 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. Plus there's a photo shoot of the wake afterwards.
2. "Kaden dumps Jaden" - hold on I might have got that wrong. Is it "Jaden that's dumped Kaden?". I've never heard of either them, so fuck knows.
3. "Jordan - I've tattooed my quim". Jordan shares her new saucy tattoo with us. It's for my boyfriend(s) eye(s) only she claims. What does it say - it's a curly arrow pointing at her muff with the words "you are here" in Sanskrit. That's a touch of class isn't it?
4. Khinky Khatie Khardasian - get's jiggy with Dizzy Rascal at showbiz party. Allegedly she's a big fan of Dizzy's hit Tongue n' Cheek. Actually it could be that Dizzy's had his tongue in her cheeks, I can't make head nor tail of it.
I was hoping they'd want to take some pics from inside my kennel. Thus giving me the chance to point out to me Mum that I haven't fuckin' got one and have to spend most of the day on cold lino with nut job Tommy Knocker.
Andy Warhol said - that in the future "everyone will be famous for ten minutes".
Well that lot's time is up. Woof !!