Apparently a BBC radio survey found that more than a quarter of British 18-24 year olds don't trust Muslims. Not as high as the 95% of 5-15 year olds that don't trust BBC employees mind. Woof. Bored bastard shitless I am, stuck in the house on me own again. I'd give Esther Rantzen a call, but I don't trust her either. And another thing, if BBC employees were all illegally bang at it with minors (no not miners, Arthur Scargill couldn't score in a brothel I reckon - the male equivalent of a munter - a manter possibly, he was) in the 70's then are we to assume that ITV employees were completely innocent? Doesn't sound likely does it? What exactly was that white stuff in Dickie Davies' hair for example? You know what I'm saying. Talking of munters did anyone see Only Connect this week, I like a nice quiz me. Was that a trannie or what? The thing with the very deep voice in the red dress? The one that was about nine feet tall. Looked a bit like Arthur Mullard after a very heavy night on the pop. Except with mascara on. Me Dad said "she" looked a bit like his ex missus. The one that he found cleaning the cooker with two slices of bread so as not to waste anything. Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...