Skip to main content

Play Misty for me ...

 Well; fuck me but it's been a while since I had a rant. But then hey; when there is so much "woke generation bollocks" TV about a rant is never far away.

We've had Bake Off, Sewing Bee, Hairstyling and then Make Up, it was only a matter of time before another craft related program hits the airwaves. 

All the others are frankly a bit girly but this one had a whiff of masculinity about it. Handmade, the search for Britain's Best Woodworker.  At least that's what I though until I caught last nights Grand Final episode.

There was only a bloke on it called Misti, he looked like that singer guy from Jethro Tull, and just like him I am pretty certain that Misti is an expert in playing the flute or pink oboe. Misti looked like a bloke, had a chin like a bloke and voice like bloke, and the build of bloke but ... it turns out he's a woman.

The judges had to call him 'she' and praise the journey that Misti has been on throughout the program. 

Inside I'm screaming "its a bloke in a dress". Actually he/she/they was wearing knee high boots, tights or body stocking, and a cheeky pair of short cut denims. Misti also sported a long bandana, which frankly can only have been a Health & Safety issue. Catch that in a lathe or router and it could rip your ear off luv.

Still she's got a cock; so you have been warned. 

Last time I heard of anyone called Misti was in that Clint Eastwood film where the woman got punched out of a window. Having watched just one episode of Handmade I know how Clint feels.

Misti's full name is Misti Leitz, why not Fairy Lights? 

Unbelievable. 

I have to admit though Misti wasn't the only one to have a close shave, the wood used on his outdoor area looked nicely planed.

Stay woof.

Popular posts from this blog

Fucking Passwords

Create a password..... cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.... boiled cabbage Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. 1 boiled cabbage Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces. 50fuckingboiledcabbages Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character. 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively. 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation. NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou DontGiveMeAccessImmediatelyYouTwats Sorry, that password is already in use! See  Fucking phone calls too

Felines on the shirt ...

I wouldn't normally have anything to do with cats, but this is inspired. Bit like that doggy that looked like Hitler. Stay woof

Fucking phone calls

Hey guess what - as well as hating fucking passwords, me dad hated automated voice systems too. Welcome to the WeDontGiveAShit Insurance helpline, to start off please type in your 16 digit account code followed by the hash key. Panics, finds number on a piece of paper, types 4 9 2 9 4 2 9 1 6 1 0 0 1 6 6 6 slowly. Sorry that account code is not recognised, did you forget the hash key? Please try again. Oh fuck I did that wrong it ends in 10 66 not 16 66, types number in again, followed by the # key. Press 1 for inquiries, 2 for claims, 3 for whatever and 4 for fuck knows. For all other inquiries please hold. Presses 2. Great, Press 1 for a new claim, and 2 for an existing claim. Presses 2 again. Moronic music plays. I'm Bored shit less already. OK, you are 4th in the queue, please hold. Moronic music starts on repeat. Still bored shit less; my patience is running out. OK, now enter your date of birth followed by the hash key. Types 26 03 1961 and then ...