This is going to have to be a quick one, as they've taken my iPod off me for weeing in the kitchen again. He's away on biz and she's watching some gardening rubbish on telly so I've snook onto the lappy upstairs. Me Dad rang up before and said that he had to make a speech today, and he decided at the last minute to clean it up a bit so as not to offend anyone. Which meant he didn't do the "Mother Theresa, Michael Jackson and Stephen Hawking walk into a gay bar" joke. Which is a bit of a shame as it's the only funny one he knows. Pooh count: 3 softs and one hard one. Of course Mother Theresa, Michael Jackson and Stephen Hawking couldn't walk into a bar in real life could they? Two of them are dead and the other one can't walk.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.