"I came along, I did a little pooh, just on the grass for you, and it was all yellow..." Did the most amazing shiny yellow pooh whilst walking round the Valley Gardens on Sunday morning. I wanted to keep it, but me Dad was having none of it. The tight get. If we'd have stuck a pair of sunglasses on it, it would have been a dead ringer for Yoko Ono. Probably a bit prettier actually, come to think of it. Those sorts of things sell for thousands on eBay you know. A piece of toast that looks like Elvis, a corn flake in the shape of Illinois. People will buy anything original like that on there, so I'm certain that we'd have had a lot of interest in it, especially from the Far East. No, not the Chinese on King's Road, the Orient you daft bugger. It must have been that Chicken Madras on Friday night I reckon. Oooh, you should never give a Border Terrier a Chicken Madras. It's like one of the unwritten rules of Good Terrier Housekeeping. It's trueeeee, look how it shines for youuuuu, look how it shines for you...I might go back and get it tomorrow. If it's still there. Some bugger has probably half-inched it by now, they'll nick anything round here, so a one-off artifact like that will probably already be in one of those posh antique shops in town or adorning a mantlepiece on Duchy Road by now. "Excuse me Madam, can I interest you in this stunning Yoko Ono replica dog pooh, believed to be the only one in existence. Yes, it's a beauty isn't it? Yes, a bit prettier than the original perhaps, yes. Three grand? Two and a half then, and I'll even throw in the sunglasses. Done. Bless you. Well, cash would be better, princess."
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.