Never in all my born days have I seen so many ginger kids all in one place. It's like we've stumbled into some real life horror movie. They're throwing stones at the ducks. Ginger Kid Duck Stoning - The Mallards Must Die I think this movie must be called. Mick Hucknall must live in Ripon I reckon. The dirty talentless ginger twat. Spreading his ginger load all round town.

The gritters are out round here. I kid you not. Trundling round the Ripon by-pass at the weekend we were followed by one of the buggers. I assume that North Yorkshire County Council have decided that spreading the grit out very thinly in the middle of a fucking record-breaking July heatwave is an excellent cost saving measure. The lack of ice-related accidents on the roads around Ripon this month is clear proof of the success of this measure. Wankers and cock ends the lot of them. In other news, I escaped again at the weekend, twice in one day which is no mean feat around here. Sadly I was recaptured for a second time whilst AWOL on sausage patrolling duties in the vicinity of Knox Way circa 17.00 hours. The tight bastards. Route behind compost bin into No 56 now blocked by large heavy piece of decking. Twats. New plan in formation, I can't wait for my mates at Thomas Bell to come up with a Porsche 911 targa top in black with alloy wheels, although I'm sure they will. New plan: