What the fuck has happened to his hair? I was shocked to see said slaphead on the news last night. I only recognised him 'cos of Kate stood next to him. She must be distraught poor love, one minute you're married to a dashing prince and the next morning you wake up next to Greg Wallace. What a fucking right royal let down that is.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.