Kerry Katona my arse ...

According to OK magazine Kerry Katona's had an ass hole transplant!

Have you seen the stop press though? The ass hole's rejected her! Woof.

I'm not kidding - are there no depths a celebrity won't plumb to get some oxygen of publicity? Apparently not.

She has stunned her Instagram followers by filming herself getting a Brazilian bum lift. #ass hole, #desperate, #hashtag - #sillybitch.

The former Atomic Kitten singer has changed her look many times over the years - from being blonde to being purple. I don't want to pick faults here; but I'm pretty sure Prince covered that whole being purple thing to a tee. Oh yeah; he could fuckin' sing as well.

Now the mum-of-five - by six different dad's - wants tighter and more perkier buttocks.

Here's the before and after shot of her bum; let's see if you can spot the differences. Woof !

Yep - she's left the label showing on her panties n the last shot. Plus it looks like she's had a bit of rumpy pumpy and a mild spanking in shot 2 as well. Woof!

Glasto

You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.

my Mum, your Dad

It's a new reality show FFS Endless permutations My Mum, your Dad My Mum, your Mum My Dad, your Dad My Mum, my Dad + your Dad My Mum, your Mum + your Dad Stay woof

it's bin day

I love a by election but only for the nutters who stand in them. I expected the Monster Raving Loony Party but there's a new kid on the block ... Count Binface. So i've been inspired to stand myself as his buddy, Count Benny of Thejets. Just like my inspiration Sir Elton, I'm still standing. My policies include:- Lowering taxes on dog food Campaigning for more poo bins Compulsory banning of cats Gotta go, I ate something 'dodgy' earlier in the park and I think I'm about to lose my deposit! Stay woof

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