Darren Fletcher and David De Gea are both hoping for same thing this Christmas I gather....clean sheets! Pooh count: three, two little Sarkozys and a mighty Merkel...

There was confusion last night amongst tens of thousands of Man City fans that used to support Chelsea and Arsenal before that who are now not sure if they are supposed to switch back to supporting Chelsea or revert to Arsenal or stick with Man City. Pooh count: two, one of which reminded me of Frank Lampard. So I left it on the bench....

Getting my goat again this morning is Nicolas Sarkozy who continues to jettison his toys from his perambulator with aplomb, now saying that there are now "two Europes". The French dwarf. There'd just be one big Europe called Germany if we'd left it to the frogs, the useless bastards. Pooh count: 26 - all of them lacking moral fibre.