Nothing pressing to attend to now until tea-time, and that's three hours away yet. They won't even watch telly as "he" is working in the corner of the lounge, the tight bastards. Got shouted at for putting mud all over the lounge carpet earlier, but I'm not that bothered, it's all water off a ducks back to me. Decided to have a little sleep in the hall, the blanket on the bean bag is full of dog hairs. Let's just say that housework isn't a strong point round here. I think it's Wednesday - the calendar on the wall is a bit high up and I can't quite see. If so that means there's a fair chance it's an Indian for the two-legged's tonight, which means a few extra poppadoms for me. I sneaked a bit of chicken jalfrezi once, but it gave me a right dose of the Erthas. So I'd better keep my nose clean, as they say, which is easier said than done on my diet of what I like to call "terrier truffles" I can tell you. Pooh count: 3, not curling them out at my usual rate today but I'm sure I can cook one up for later.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...