What IS the point of tidying up before you go away anywhere, it can take me fifteen or twenty minutes sometimes to get things back to how they should be. They must be feeling a tiny bit guilty as I was only modestly chastised for rearranging things earlier. Made extremely short work of my tea tonight, bloody starving I was, a border terrier can't survive on the meagre rations dished out at Stalag 49 I can tell you. Might have a bit of a laugh later by putting on my fake limp, shivering and pretending to have kennel cough, I always do that when I come back from Stalag 49. Walkies with him in the morning, which means the chances of getting let off the lead are probably quite slim, the tight bastard. Pooh count: a respectable 5.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...