They are going away, she's been upstairs packing since she got in from work and is now running around cleaning and dusting as if her life depended on it. Even barking at the hoover has failed to cheer me up today. So it definitely is Stalag 49 for me in the morning by the looks of it. They don't even have WiFi for Christ's sake. Think Butlins but without any glass in the windows and a large incontinent yet amorous Staffordshire Bull Terrier called Bruno for a cellmate and you are about there. Pooh count: only 3, think I've got constipation at the very thought of what lies in store, the tight bastards.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...