I was in the park this afternoon and there were three other dogs in there: Scrubs, the robber's dog; Barclay, the banker's dog; and Subsidy, the farmer's dog. Barclay says to the other two: "Hey chaps, I've got a bally good idea, why don't we club together and go to the butchers and buy a great big piece of meat?" Scrubs disagreed, he said "bollocks to that, let's just go in the back door and steal a great big piece of meat." Subsidy however had other ideas, he said: "Nah lads you've got it all wrong, let's just hang around outside the door howling and whining and sooner or later they'll just give it to us." It's true I'm telling yer. Pooh count: 6 so far, going for a personal best.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...