What sort of a name is that? Couldn't they spell in your school? You're a disgrace son, look at you, you look like a cross between a Twix and Joe 90. Award my arse, the only thing I'd award you with is a slap with the back of my paw. Get a proper job you layabout. Pooh count: 7, satiated.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.