Robert Preston, who does he think he is, the condescending bastard? I'd hate to be married to him: "You see darling, you're doing it all wrong, it's no wonder I'm forced to look elsewhere at King's Cross Station in the middle of the night is it?" And the music of to today, what's that all about? Lordy, Lordy. Forced to sit through the UK top 40 tonight, choroused by a backdrop of "OK this one might be crap, but the next one up is brilliant." Closely followed by "OK this one IS really crap, but the next one WILL be brilliant." Dizzy Tospot featuring Useless Git. Featuring? We never had that in our day did we? Motorhead featuring Joe Dolce? Shut uppa the ace of spades your face? Kids, who do they think they are? I'm a 2 1/2 year old Border Terrier. I remember Slade son, it doesn't get better than that sunshine. Pooh count: 6, nice one.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...