Tossed and turned all night worrying about contagion in the Middle East and the rising price of sausages. Nice walk down the Nidd Gorge this morning with her. Saw a squirrel, one day I'm going to have one of those bastards. All the gang were there, Banjo, Wombat etc. Fancy calling a dog Wombat, it's no wonder he's got "issues". Banned from my X-box for a week for pissing in the kitchen again, still there's always the old Wii to fall back on. Wii, d'ya get it? I'm too good for this place, I may take up that offer of a summer season at Scarborough after all. Mind you last time I did that I had to share a dressing room with Roger D'Courcey and Nookie Bear. The abuse that bear took, it still brings tears to my eyes even to this day. Pooh count: 1 and a half (don't ask).
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.