House in the sun home and away location in the country escape. What are those things all about? They always end up with one of these finales: a) unfortunately Debbie and Eddie's offer of 50p for Buckingham Palace was turned down. b) after having two weeks in the sun at our expense Doris and Horace decided that everything we'd shown them was crap. c) after offering the full asking price on the villa in the mountains, rabid homos Dwayne and Wayne decided to pull out first thing in the morning. d) after seventeen years of unsuccessful hunting for a four million pound ski lodge overlooking Gstaad Trisha and Tony decided to buy a caravan in Rhyl. I fart in their general direction. Pooh count: eight, but I did have some chicken madras for me supper.
You couldn't make it up could you. I spent much of the weekend dozing on the sofa watching telly. Glastonbury was on, although sad to say there was no Snoop Dog, Bone Jovi or any other canine related artists. The big news seemed to be the lack of female headliners and now we know why as one scored a spectacular own goal. She missed her slot cos she was doing her hair. It takes ages she said. Why NOT start doing your hair well before your show time. Aaagh no where's my handbag I've left it in the car, I've got to back to fetch it.