I Learnt Some New Words Today

Me Dad was busy doing a website for someone or other, he'd been at it for hours the poor lamb, with me sleeping dutifully at his feet. How was I supposed to know that the trip switch was under me left paw? He wont forget to save his work again in a hurry though will he? I reckon I've done him a favour, the fat bastard. Talking of lamb it said on the telly tonight that the per capita consumption of lamb in the US is less than one pound per person per year! What are they eating to get so fat, that's what I want to know. If you've ever watched Man vs Food then there may be some clues in there for you. "A full twelve pounds of pulled pork, eighteen hamburgers, three tonne of fries, eight slabs of Monterrey Jack cheese, a hundred and forty two Scotch bonnet chilli peppers and two gallons of their own special jalapeno concentrate instant death sauce all to be consumed inside three minutes." And the crowd are cheering him on like he's some sort of super-hero. The guy must be shitting through the eye of a needle after every show I reckon. Talking of which, today's pooh count so far is a load lightening seven. Tasty.