So ManYoo have won the Premier League again with a (shock) debatable penalty earning them a draw against relegation faced Blackburn, and Man Shitty have bought the FA Cup with a streaky 1-0 win against lowly Stoke. Hoo chuffin ray. Hardly the stuff of giants is it? Pooh count: four, more excitement there than watching those overpaid ladyboys running around kissing each other. Ya Ya, what sort of a name is that? Two hundred grand a week he's supposed to be on the lanky streak of piss. Tevez, the dirty cheating Argy bastard, said he needed a cortisone injection in order to play the second half, and Ya Ya pipes up with "well if he's having a new car I'm having one too Boss," the thick get. Hanging's too good for them. And Rooney, he's not exactly the brightest biscuit in the barrel either is he? And is it just me or is that Balotelli gadger complely and utterly cack? If that's the best team you can put together for fifty squillion billion then we're all in a sad state. You can say what you like about Hitler, but at least he made the buses run on time. Woof.
Is a sheepdog and his two-legged is a farmer. Frank was out with him in the tractor drilling wheat last autumn and they unearthed a rusty old lamp. So the farmer hopped out of the cab to have a closer look at it and gave it a little rub on his jacket, as you do, and was amazed to see a genie appear and offer to grant him any wish he wanted. Well the farmer thought for a moment and then said "I'd like the price of wheat to go to £200/tonne!" So the genie sighed but said "OK, I'll sort that out for you then, you greedy bastard" and popped back into his bottle. And the farmer casually tossed the lamp into the back of his cab and got on with his drilling. Well they were out again this morning putting a bit of nitrogen on, Frank and the farmer, and the farmer spotted the lamp and gave it a little rub again, just on the off chance, and you'll never guess what happened, the genie popped out again, and said that he'd grant the farmer one more wish. So the fa...